I bought a treadmill.
I’ll give you a moment to digest that and cease snort laughing.
It was a bargain, as a friend no longer wanted it.
We’re going on a cruise in 4 weeks, which means this is the prime time to launch into a panic diet and exercise regime, convinced that this time I will absolutely stick to it for more than 1.5 days, and I will totally be mistaken for a supermodel while swanning around on board…
The bargain treadmill that dreams are made of was delivered on the weekend.
Soon thereafter, I realised that I don’t even own a pair of sneakers, joggers, running shoes – any form of shoe that requires laces.
Remember when I told you how Miss7 accused me of being “gymnastic” over breakfast one morning? And it turned out she actually meant “sarcastic”. And I told her that Mummy is many things, but gymnastic will never ever be one of them.
Yeah. Here’s the proof of my severe allergy to all things athletic. I don’t even own a pair of shoes worn while exercising….and I’m not even sure what you call them – sneakers? Joggers?
So while waiting on my request to publish a fitness blog on account of my supreme knowledge of all things sporty, I dashed out to the shops to find a place that sold those shoes with the laces that people wear when choosing to make themselves sweaty and short of breath.
Miss10 steered me towards Rebel Sport. A store I’d walked past a bazillion times in one of my local shopping centre haunts, but never even noticed.
Lucky for me and my foolproof fitness regime, they’re currently having a pretty decent sale.
I scored $150 shoes made for people with collapsed arches to use for running (still no clue what their technical name is…), for $60.
Being that I have birthed three kids, I made the sage decision to check out the sports bras.
A lovely, perky, 18 year old assisted me in selecting a pair from the bargain rack that would keep everything where it used to stay all of its own accord.
Then she asked what I preferred to run in.
I was all like, um, a winery, glass in hand?
Which she only found mildly amusing / largely confusing.
She explained that some people run in Skins.
I was all like, check, got miles of it. Even quite a bit of extra, heh.
This time confused / disgusted, slightly disguised by an awkward smile.
I nearly died when she showed me the lycra Skins.
Hell to the no. For the sake of all humankind, no (you’re welcome).
Instead, I selected some breathable running shorts.
Complete with their own sewn in undies – a twofer!
Since they were on the bargain rack, I selected another complete set of sports bra and matching running shorts.
Because I’m totally committed to exceeding my previous exercise record of 2 weeks, and therefore I will need a second outfit, lest I wear out the first one.
I have now spent double what the bargain treadmill cost.
But, if nothing else, I will have a couple of impressive outfits to wear to the shops, to let everyone there think I’m someone who is fit and healthy and exercises.
Stay tuned. If I make it past this first week, I will be sure to blog and brag about it as if I’d just completed a marathon.
Without proper running shorts that have the undies sewn into the inside.