That pretty much sums up Mothers’ Day.
#1Hubby was trying his best to appease me by finally clearing his work crap out of the garage, eleventybillion years after I first started whine-ask-demanding he do so.
Which was great, except it was Mothers’ Day and I was left with all of the things inside. There was no lounging around in pyjamas. No coffee in bed. Definitely no binge watching my favourite shows.
The kids, well they were mini assholes most of the day. Not as in they are mini, but their assholeness was mini. Like minor asshole status, as opposed to being epic assholes.
Mini assholes antagonise each other and not me – but force and motion and physics and stuff means I was impacted by the assholedom, by having to parent it all before someone lost an eye.
The cat gifted me a spew. Bless. Bastard.
The kids were all OMG OMG OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING. In a break from their assholeness, I took solace and enjoyment from their bonding over mutual disgust.
Sadly, they got over the touching show of sibling unity in a flash, and were very quickly threatening to push each other into said cat spew.
So I cleaned up cat vomit on Mothers’ Day. Living the dream.
The cat – who was my favourite pre-spew – then sat outside the kitchen window on top of the outdoor table, heaving and eyeballing me, as we had an intense stand off over whether or not he would produce a follow up gift for me.
Being a master multi-tasker, I continued the stand off while slaving over a lavish roast lunch that I was making for myself….which was to be served on said outdoor table – pending follow up spew.
So, yeah, that was Mothers’ Day. My personal highlight being the cat vomit.
You may think I sound bitter and ungrateful, but I’m not.
This is possibly the best way it could have played out – because now I get a do-over.
After lovingly yelling my disappointment at them all before bed time, I am generously giving them the opportunity to improve on their efforts this weekend.
I’m markedly more excited for the do-over than I was for the original. The vibe in the lead up is a mix of excitement (mine) and apprehension (theirs).