Survivor bosses:
No I did not ask permission to use your logo. My bad.
Please do not treat this as my audition for the show…unless you’re going to do a parents’ version to see who can possibly outwit/outplay/outlast the other parents, resisting the urge to make the bed, pick up floor-towels, make healthy snacks, or contact their children…surviving guilt-free in a luxury hotel.
Spoiler alert :
It will be me. I will win. Mother guilt has no power over me when up against free room service and sleep-ins.
I just wanted to let you all know that I survived the school holidays.
Phew, right?
I do have a TEEN, you know.
And twins who hate each other and piss themselves laughing at the mere suggestion of some mythical “twin bond”.
And the 2 girls are forever trying to convince each other to emancipate themselves – pushing each other to the limit of sanity and fighty-sister-ness, just hoping the other one will pack a bag and leave.
I know, I should really intervene more…but you guys…only 2 kids would mean just 1 taxi, 1 hotel room, more wine money in the budget….I feel like I could REALLY go on and on with this list, but that would make it look like I’ve spent far too much time musing over the pros and cons of 2 kids versus 3…
Also, my beloved boy has completely worked out that I am powerless against his charms.
He’s still my main ally, but he also plays me like a champion.
SHIT IS REAL IN THIS FAMILY, YOU GUYS.
So I get that you would be considering sending out the National Guard to search for my remains upon completion of 2 weeks of school holidays at home with them, given the circumstances.