Why Plastic Surgery Is A Great Option For Everyone

Some frown upon plastic surgery for various reasons, but most embrace it as an option to improve self-esteem and self-worth. Plastic surgery isn’t always for cosmetic reasons; there are health and medical reasons why people get it done. Everyone has their purpose, some for cosmetic, others for health, but regardless of the reason, one thing is for sure, there is a plastic surgery solution for everyone. 

Cosmetic Plastic Surgery

For those looking to improve their looks and self-confidence, this is a great option. For men, it could be weight loss, muscle implants, and facial procedures that may include a facelift or rhinoplasty, for example. Understanding the options available to you before going into surgery will help you make the best choice for yourself. For women, they may find that plastic surgery can enhance facial features, lift breasts, or tighten the buttocks. Weight loss through means of liposuction in oklahoma city is also a typical cosmetic process that both men and women have performed on their bodies. 

Plastic Surgery For Medical Reasons 

Not everyone has plastic surgery performed for cosmetic purposes, and some need surgery to live a better life. Facial reconstruction after an accident, or reconstructive surgery because of congenital disability, there are plenty of reasons why people opt-in for plastic surgery for non-cosmetic reasons. 

Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong

You should take caution when looking into a procedure for yourself or a loved one. There are plenty of cases of plastic surgery gone wrong, and depending on the procedure, there may be no turning back. Do your research, find a plastic surgeon in oklahoma city that has excellent reviews, testimonials, and is an active member of the medical community. Shady practitioners that operate quietly in the background need to be avoided. Make sure you investigate thoroughly and make sure no legal cases are pending against them for malpractice or other reasons. 

Why Plastic Surgery Is The Right Choice For You

Most surgeries are positive and yield positive results, as long as you do your research, you should be fine. It doesn’t matter why you are considering plastic surgery, and it only matters that it’s the right choice made by you, and made for you. Plastic surgery can become a life-changing process that benefits individuals in personal and professional life. Understanding the potential should give you more motivation to seek out the right plastic surgeon and get the process done that you need to live a better life.

Contact US:

Sawan Surgical Aesthetics
Address:209 Lilac Dr #200, Oklahoma City, OK
Phone: (405) 285-7660

The Leaning Tower of Lego Pisa and an epic catastrophe

Oh hey you guys – just me – checking in.  Months between posts, I know.  I’ve been super busy messing with my kids, stuffing up the parenting thing, laughing at inappropriate stuff.  The usual.

Watching cat videos.

So, do allow me to regale you all (the tens of you that still read this…most related to me) with the latest and greatest parenting brag.

My Mstr10 spent EONS (days) completing a STEM project for school – recreating an international landmark.  He opted to go all Leaning Tower of Pisa via Lego.

It was epic, and I’m not just referring to the 4-5 days of blissful peace we enjoyed while he was in the Lego-zone.

He did good.  Really good.

So good I forgave the 5:15am wake-ups as he melted down over the lack of curved white Lego pieces in his extensive collection.

Once his impressive tower was done, he also created an animated poster, complete with Lego peeps walking up and taking selfies, pretending to hold up the tower.

I was all proud parent, you guys.

Fruit of my loins knows way more about technology than I do – just knocked out a quick animated video/poster thingy like it was nothing – meanwhile I’m still here scaring the crap out of myself when I try and take a photo with my mobile phone, and the camera is on reverse – so I see my less than glamorous self on the screen, up close…all pores and wrinkles…

Unfortunately, the day after completion, he had a teeny, tiny accident and knocked the top off of the tower while innocently attempting to simultaneously karate kick his sisters.

It happens, totally normal.

We’re talking around a dozen pieces, 20 at most, on the floor.

The poor kid lost his shit.

He was beside himself.  Inconsolable.

I was sitting opposite his still very impressive leaning tower, calmly begging him to let me help him fix it – and he was all wet teary eyes “No Mum, it’s okay, I’ll fix it, it was my fault…it’s okay”.

Heart. Breaking. Bazillions of pieces of my heart alongside the 12+ pieces of Lego on the ground.

What followed was a good 3-4 minutes of heart palpitations as he very quickly and easily repaired/renovated.

HUZZAH.  All good in the ‘hood.

He was instantly happy again.

I needed a beverage.

Rallying, I very sagely suggested we take it to school early – and keep it in the school Library, where I’m the boss and nothing could possibly happen to it in the ONE DAY before it was due to be handed in.

Parenting genius.  Right there.  Sometimes I amaze myself with my adulting, considering.

So the next morning we carefully put it in the car to drive to school.

I fairly nearly wet my pants trying to drive into the staff carpark.  It took two goes to get up over the very small kerb, because I was all Driving Miss Daisy with the precious cargo on board.

We finally parked, all let out a sigh of relief, and then shepherded the STEM project to the school library, where we placed it on the bench behind my desk.

There were high fives all round, and eventually my butt cheeks unclenched.

Eventually.

The Leaning Tower of Lego Pisa was on display and safe in the library – for all of 2 hours.

A category 6 tornado combined with a force eleventeen earthquake struck….via MY ELBOW.

I obliterated that bad boy.

LIKE….COMPLETELY DESTROYED IT.

It was now an ancient ruins.

Of course I did the responsible thing and ran to the Principal in a mad panic.

She laughed and wished me luck come the end of the day, when my beloved Mstr10 came to shower me with affection and adoration and get a lift home.

Vomitsville.  I felt like I was living in vomitsville.

Panic, anxiety, guilt – all the good stuff.

I tried to fix it, but as you can imagine, only made it WORSE.

Mstr10’s twin sister came in for her class library visit and nearly crapped herself with sadistic delight when she saw what I’d done.

Mini asshole.

She gets it from me.

I had to beg her not to tell him if she saw him at lunch time.  Bribed her with a Canteen icy pole.

At lunch time I paced the Library, on the lookout for my beloved little man.

Anywho, to drag this out slightly less dramatically (my bad), Mstr10 didn’t appear until soon after the end of school siren.

I braced myself for the mother of all meltdowns (his and mine).

My beloved little guy looked gutted, took a deep breath, and said “It’s okay Mum, I know it was an accident…I’ll fix it”.

This guy.  This guy.  He wins the world.

His special traits that would normally see him absolutely melting down over anything that strayed from normal routine and expectation, they didn’t apply.  He just sucked it up and fixed it.

Because he knew it was an accident and I didn’t do it on purpose.

The Cleaner came in and started vacuuming – something that would normally send him running out the door on account of sensory overload – but he was so in-the-zone with the Lego re-build that he didn’t even  notice.

I’ve never been so proud….which obviously made the Mother-guilt sooooo much worse.

Naturally he is now getting all the jewellery and my kidneys.  Duh.

How to Choose the Best Plastic Surgeon?

Plastic surgery is about surgical reconstruction and changes to different parts of your body. Choosing the right plastic surgeons in OKC is the most crucial part of this surgery because you have to live with the changes or reconstructed body parts for years, if not the whole life. Everyone expects to have a successful procedure with the best result. Ending up in the hands of incompetents and inexperienced surgeon can turn your expectations into a complete nightmare. You have to know that poor results can lead to additional cost of rectification. Hence choosing the best one is always important.

How to choose the best surgeon?

If you are confused about how to select the best surgeon for having a successful plastic surgery in Oklahoma City, here are some of the essential factors to consider:

  1. Certified: One of the main factors that you need to consider is whether or not the surgeon is certified by the board. The medical boards may vary from one state to another. So, make sure to check if the surgeon who is going to operate on you has a valid certificate for this job.
  2. Experience: Another thing that you have to confirm about the surgeon is his/her experience in this field. Each area of the cosmetic or plastic surgery needs different sets of skills. So, you need to know whether or not the surgeon you are choosing is an expert on the particular area that you need.
  3. Success rate: Thanks to the internet, nowadays, you can easily get to know about the success rate, review and professionalism of any surgeon. If you want to get a brief idea about the surgeon, then you can check for the reviews and feedbacks about him/her.
  4. Polite & helpful: Going through a surgery is really a big deal. You have to be sure that the surgeon and each of his/her staff is reliable, helpful and polite. The comfort level must be high so that you can share and explain what or how you feel regarding the surgery. Choose a cosmetic surgeon whom you can trust and depend on.

Things to ask to the surgeon

Once you have chosen a surgeon or you want to finalize one for your plastic surgery, you need to ask them some questions. Some of the important questions are –

  1. Are there any potential side effects or risks of the surgery?
  2. How long will it take to recover completely after the procedure is done?
  3. What type of anesthesia the surgeon is choosing for you?

Conclusion

So, these are some of the important factors that you have to consider when you are choosing your plastic surgeon in Oklahoma City. Also, remember to ask these aforementioned questions as this will help you to know many more details regarding the surgery. Also, look for what the past patients of the surgeon have to say about him/her. These minute details and information can be quite helpful for you. The procedure of plastic surgery is quite invasive and you need to ensure that you are choosing the best surgeon at any cost. Never compromise with the quality just to save a few bucks.

Contact US:

Sawan Surgical Aesthetics
Address:209 Lilac Dr #200, Oklahoma City, OK
Phone: (405) 285-7660

Harmful Impact Of Lead In Water

There are millions of people across the world who struggle to get safe and clean water to drink. As the water table continues to be used much beyond normal limits, there is very weak replenishment of the same. Hence, the water table continues to drop across the states of the country and also across the world. This leads to the increased risk of water getting contaminated. One of the biggest challenges today is lead poisoning or increased amount of lead in the water. If there is a need for leader filter or POU filter, it is right now and there is no way this can be postponed or kept for tomorrow. This is because the health challenges and risks associated with lead poisoning in water are real and it cannot be ignored or brushed under the carpet. Let us therefore try and find out the impact lead poisoning and how lead filters can help save millions of people from the dangers associated with it.

How Does Lead Get Introduced In The Body?

There are enough research studies and papers to prove that lead can have quite a few bad health effects. Historically, there are many who believe that lead in water was one of the main reasons for the downfall of the great Roman Empire. However, the first studies on lead in water and its negative impact on human beings was perhaps done around 100 years ago. But lead continued to be used for many household products. Paints in particular had lead in it because it helped add color to it. Lead was banned in 1978 because of irrefutable evidences that it could damage the human body quite significantly.

How Is Lead Ingested

Lead is ingested either through contaminated substances or through water. The limit set for lead ingestion is only 15 micrograms per liter though there are many toxicologists who believe 10 micrograms per liter should be the right limit. Anything above 15 micrograms could lead to what is commonly known and lead poisoning. Apart from water, lead can also be ingested in inhaled through the skin. However, lead in water cannot get into the body through skin. Therefore it might be safe to bathe in lead contaminated water as long as you do not drink the same.

How It Damages The Body

When human brain cells absorb lead, it is known to impact the frontal cortex. This is the area that is responsible for planning, abstract thought and attention. It also impacts the hippocampus that is vital for memory and learning. Additionally, lead poisoning could also impact the kidney and liver and damage these organs beyond repair if the ingestion happens in high quantities and for long periods of time.

The Role Of Lead Filter

In view of the facts mentioned above, there is no doubt that lead filter is extremely critical and even indispensable for each and every home in the country. It is all the more true for areas where the concentration of lead is much more than the normal prescribed limit. Quality lead filters help in trapping lead in the filtering devices and prevent it from getting into the water that is used for drinking, cooking and other purposes.

Contact US:

Nephros Inc.
Address:380 Lackawanna Pl,  South Orange, NJ
Phone: (201) 343-5202

Mothers’ Day


That pretty much sums up Mothers’ Day.

#1Hubby was trying his best to appease me by finally clearing his work crap out of the garage, eleventybillion years after I first started whine-ask-demanding he do so.  

Which was great, except it was Mothers’ Day and I was left with all of the things inside.  There was no lounging around in pyjamas.  No coffee in bed.  Definitely no binge watching my favourite shows.

The kids, well they were mini assholes most of the day.  Not as in they are mini, but their assholeness was mini.  Like minor asshole status, as opposed to being epic assholes. 

Mini assholes antagonise each other and not me – but force and motion and physics and stuff means I was impacted by the assholedom, by having to parent it all before someone lost an eye.
The cat gifted me a spew.  Bless.  Bastard.

The kids were all OMG OMG OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING.  In a break from their assholeness, I took solace and enjoyment from their bonding over mutual disgust. 

Sadly, they got over the touching show of sibling unity in a flash, and were very quickly threatening to push each other into said cat spew.

So I cleaned up cat vomit on Mothers’ Day.  Living the dream.

The cat – who was my favourite pre-spew – then sat outside the kitchen window on top of the outdoor table, heaving and eyeballing me, as we had an intense stand off over whether or not he would produce a follow up gift for me.

Being a master multi-tasker, I continued the stand off while slaving over a lavish roast lunch that I was making for myself….which was to be served on said outdoor table – pending follow up spew.

So, yeah, that was Mothers’ Day.  My personal highlight being the cat vomit.

You may think I sound bitter and ungrateful, but I’m not.

This is possibly the best way it could have played out – because now I get a do-over.

After lovingly yelling my disappointment at them all before bed time, I am generously giving them the opportunity to improve on their efforts this weekend.

I’m markedly more excited for the do-over than I was for the original.  The vibe in the lead up is a mix of excitement (mine) and apprehension (theirs).


What Treatments Does An Orthodontist Offer

What are the main differences between a dentist and an orthodontist in Edmond? Do they offer the same services or is there any difference between the two? If you are keen on finding answers for the same, it would be a good idea to spend some time going through this article. We will try and offer some basic insight into orthodontic treatment so that the readers are able to get the right perception about it. Put in plain and simple words, when we talk about orthodontics, we are referring to that branch of dentistry that gives the solution to malocclusion. This is a condition where the teeth do not get correctly positioned when the mouth is closed. This could lead to a number of problems and could lead to an improper bite. These professionals could help to set this problem right by aligning the teeth and putting them back in the right position. Apart from the above, they also help in the regular tasks of a dentist. These include cleaning and polishing of teeth, treating decayed teeth, teeth extraction and so on. We will try and have a look at some specific areas where the role of these professionals is considered to be very important. The treatment that they offer could be cosmetic and also something that can help in the overall function of the mouth and oral cavity.

Implanting Of Braces

Implanting braces is considered to be one of the most common functions of orthodontists. The braces are extremely important when it comes to straightening teeth. They could be helpful in closing the wide gaps between the teeth. This could improve the overall appearance and looks of the teeth. It also could be used to align the tips of the teeth and also for straightening crooked teeth. Use of braces carefully could also go a long way in improving chewing ability and also improving speech quite significantly. They also can play a positive role in boosting the long term strength, durability, and health of teeth and gums. Braces are also used for preventing wear and tear of teeth and unwanted trauma that could be damaging. Many people suffer from an improper bite and the same may also be treated properly with the help of these braces.

How To Get Started

 Once you have visited a good orthodontist and have had braces installed, then you should know how to make good use of it. You are supposed to have the right kind of dental and oral hygiene habits and much more. There is no doubt that there are a number of advantages of visiting a good orthodontist.

 How To Select The Right Professionals

 With so many orthodontists around, you have to do your research and then choose the right professional. This would call for understanding more about their qualifications, experience, expertise, and other such attributes. The quality of the clinic that they have the reputation they enjoy and other such things should also be taken into account. Hence, at the end of the day, there is no denying the fact that it makes a lot of sense to visit a good orthodontist in case you have problems of misaligned teeth, crooked teeth, chipped teeth, crowded and much more.

Contact US:

Nanda Orthodontics

Address:17200 N May Ave Suite 300,Edmond, OK
Phone: (405) 330-9911

I’m a survivor – like Beyonce…but more Jeff Probst, really


OUTWIT…the mini-me’s into doing stuff for me since they’re home all day

OUTPLAY…my darlings, against each other, for who wins the prize as my favourite

OUTLAST…the sweet cherubs for 2 weeks of school holidays – home all day, every day


Survivor bosses:
No I did not ask permission to use your logo.  My bad.

Please do not treat this as my audition for the show…unless you’re going to do a parents’ version to see who can possibly outwit/outplay/outlast the other parents, resisting the urge to make the bed, pick up floor-towels, make healthy snacks, or contact their children…surviving guilt-free in a luxury hotel.

Spoiler alert :
It will be me.  I will win.  Mother guilt has no power over me when up against free room service and sleep-ins.



Anyway…enough of the super entertaining intro
On to the reason for my post:



I just wanted to let you all know that I survived the school holidays.

Phew, right?

I do have a TEEN, you know.

And twins who hate each other and piss themselves laughing at the mere suggestion of some mythical “twin bond”.

And the 2 girls are forever trying to convince each other to emancipate themselves – pushing each other to the limit of sanity and fighty-sister-ness, just hoping the other one will pack a bag and leave.

I know, I should really intervene more…but you guys…only 2 kids would mean just 1 taxi, 1 hotel room, more wine money in the budget….I feel like I could REALLY go on and on with this list, but that would make it look like I’ve spent far too much time musing over the pros and cons of 2 kids versus 3…

Also, my beloved boy has completely worked out that I am powerless against his charms.

He’s still my main ally, but he also plays me like a champion.


SHIT IS REAL IN THIS FAMILY, YOU GUYS.


So I get that you would be considering sending out the National Guard to search for my remains upon completion of 2 weeks of school holidays at home with them, given the circumstances.


Hooray / Huzzah / Jazz Hands and rainbows for the return of school….AMIRIGHT?!?!


Related – keep the celebrations down, parents, as some of us work at schools.

Some of us are ever super stupider and work at schools our kids attend.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE!


Today I had to make fresh toasted sandwiches for the Twin Tornado, as the weather is starting to cool down.

Mstr10 did a little pathetic cough to punctuate the weather situation and need for a hot lunch.

Miss10 just stared me down.

The teen of course put her hand out for money to buy something from the school canteen, since she is no longer in residence at our combined school/workplace.  Lest she miss out on something warm on this arctic day…


The balance of power has shifted.  While #1Hubby is blissfully ignorant/unaware, I am not.

I’m trying to work out if the ability to feed themselves and wipe their own bum’s is worth sacrificing the all powerful aura of wonder, trust and compliance that I once had.


It’s nearly Easter – grab your hot glue gun and get ready


It’s that time of year again – the annual Easter Hat Parade.

I can almost smell the scent of my hot glue gun sizzled skin in the air….again.


I’m going to start marking time via the various little scars:

       Oh yes, that was 2014 when we attempted a giant rabbit larger than his head…

       That one?  Well that little moon shaped scar comes courtesy of 2017 when we really
       embraced the GO BIG OR GO HOME philosophy…

       Ahh yes, my favourite, the one that looks a bit like Beyonce if you squint and do a
       handstand using just your left arm (shut up, I totally could…) – that was 2011 when
       I was fresh to the Easter Hat Parade farce and really thought I knew it all…


The reality is, the hats are almost always made or bought by parents.

The kids who make their own never win – my kids haven’t caught on to that fact yet.  

Each year they live in hope.

It’s not that they’re totally enthused by the whole idea of the festive joy that is an Easter themed event.

It’s just that they want the prize.  Not for the glory, but for the CHOCOLATE.

Now, I’m not a newbie.  This isn’t my first parade.  In fact, due to working at their school, I’m in charge of arranging class prizes and voting.  I know EXACTLY what the glory is worth.

$5 or less

Now that we know the less than impressive value – what is the price of said glory?

At my worst, it was around $30 per head.  With 3 children competing, I was out of pocket almost $100.  SO MANY sequins, ribbon, foam balls and rolls of packing tape…

Shudder.

One year, the price of fame was $3 per head – for a last minute Dollar Shop grab of whatever hadn’t already been claimed by other half-arsed parents.  It must’ve been a really hectic year all round, because the parade was full of the same lame cardboard bunny ears and rabbit hats, courtesy of the now very sales-happy and rolling in cash Dollar Shop.

Last year, I was down to just two (on account of Miss13 moving on to High School where they are way. too. cool to bother with such things).

But we were all a bit over it, and so we skipped it.  

Twas a blissful year, 2018.

This year, they’re back at it with a vengeance.

I don’t know why.  I don’t know which little bastards revved them up and got them all enthusiastic in their respective classes, but the Twin Tornado are out for blood the win, once again.

I have considered out-sourcing.  (Karen B – I’m looking at you.  You have a killer record of wins, and I’m not above begging, should I hot glue gun my digits together and be rendered utterly useless).

Now, to be clear, I’m not taking over and making their hats for them.  BUT HELLO – HOT GLUE GUN AND MISS10 – THE FAMILY SADIST.

Seriously?

I could make a mean profit taking bets on exactly how long it will take her to:

       a) accidentally singe her brother’s arm/hair/leg/eyeball

       b) accidentally set the very cheap and flammable curtain on fire

       c) accidentally poke her older sister in the backside and burn a hole through her very expensive school uniform.

       d) accidentally do all of the above – because she is my child, and we all know that I was an infamous pyromaniac
       in my early years (as briefly glossed over / owned on the interverse here and here).
So, the point is – it’s genetic.  And always an accident.  
Therefore, one of the tens of people reading this, think of me as I swear under my breath all weekend, supervising and trying REALLY HARD not to intervene re: the hot glue gun.
At least it will distract me from the fact that I’ve currently spent $23.75 for the Twin Tornado to have a shot at a $5 chocolate prize each.
And hopefully also distract my OCD tendencies (at least it’s not decorating the Christmas Tree….at least it’s not decorating the Christmas Tree – this shall be my OCD mantra) from taking over when Miss10 is gluing her jellybeans on and THEY AREN’T SYMMETRICAL….
All you mathematicians out there….how many bottles of vodka have I wasted on the Easter Hat Parade over the years?  

Minus the cost of just buying a $5 chocolate bunny each (and let’s be honest, I’d probably go the budget, oily, no-name brand for $3 each).

I reckon I’d still be in front….



How To Choose The Right Orthodontist

Are you from Oklahoma and trying to identify the right orthodontist in your city? If yes, please spend a few minutes going through this article. You will certainly be able to get a few valuable and important points that will help you to identify the right professional. The city is flooded with dozens of dentists and many of them are renowned orthodontists also. This makes your task quite tough and therefore we are sure that the information that is shared over the next few lines could be helpful in more ways than one.

 The Services They Offer

 Renowned, experienced and successful orthodontists are known to offer a wide variety of services. They would most certainly not restrict their services to one or two areas. For examples, a good orthodontist in this city would in all probability be in a position to offer the best of Invisalign services while handling the specific needs of kids for their ortho-dental problem. You would do well to stay away from orthodontists who offer only one or two services. This is perhaps one of the most important attributes that separate a good orthodontist from the not so good one.

 Team And Infrastructure

 Any orthodontist clinic in Oklahoma is as good or bad as the team and infrastructure that they offer. There is no doubt that orthodontic procedures are quite complex and it has to be handled only by a professional and experienced team of individuals. You must, therefore, spend some time getting to know more about the kind of facilities that they have. Further, you must also be sure that the patients and their procedures are being handled by qualified, professional and experienced individuals. Some of the best orthodontists in town list down the names, qualifications and other such details of their team. Further, the websites will also be generous about the kind of facilities and infrastructure that they offer to customers.

 Consultations

 You must try and find out if the orthodontists who you are planning to hire offer consultations. This is important because of a few reasons. Before jumping into treatment and ending up spending big money, you must be sure about the outcome and prognosis of the treatment and procedures. Professional orthodontists may charge a few bucks but they will offer honest and transparent consultations and let you know as to what you can expect from such procedures.

 When Should You Visit Orthodontist

 There are many reasons why we could be visiting an orthodontist. In many cases, their services are required for improving the structures and aesthetics of your denture. Children, in particular, should be taken to an orthodontist before he or she reaches seven years of age. Most children visit these professionals when they are in the age band of 9 to 14. Adults belonging to the age group of 26 to 44 are also seen visiting these dental professionals because of obvious looks. They would like to look good at all points in time.

Hence you must take into account quite a few factors and then decide as to who is the best Kids orthodontist in OKC. It is a process that will take time and you must not shy away from going through the due diligence process.

Contact US:

Sky Ortho

Address:717 S I-35 Service Rd
Moore, OK
Phone: 405-378-4774

Being my best self – I’m back

You guys!

You guys…

It has been a hot minute / year and a bit.

I’ve been off being the best me that I can be, and shit.


Firstly, there was a little hate from some who don’t recognise the life skill that I am most proud of – SARCASM.  After a few helpful messages suggesting I shouldn’t be allowed to have children because of how I’m so clearly not capable of looking after them….I gave them a virtual one finger salute, and got distracted by other shiny things instead of blogging.

To be honest, my first action was to reply saying “absolutely…what time can you come and get them?”

That did not appease the trolls.

I’m still not 100% convinced it wasn’t #1Nana trying to keep me on my toes with the swears on here.

Anywho – onwards and upwards…


So…to update you all on the comings and goings around these parts.

I have a teenager.  

Ugh and Argh and all other such eloquently worded statements that parents of teens universally commiserate with.

Miss13-going on 63, is about elevnteen foot tall now.  It is a struggle to do her hair, and I am now resorting to using a fetching Ikea stool that was once the potty stand for my Mister to reach and aim (purchased after far too many late night toilet breaks ending in suspiciously wet feet for yours truly…).

She’s going on 63 because she is a wise old woman who knows EV-ER-EE-THING – just ask her…  She’s full of wise and helpful advice to me on all things.  In fact, just yesterday we were driving through an area we don’t normally visit.  She saw an Aldi supermarket and stated that she always does her grocery shopping there, on account of how competitive and cheap they were.

Well fancy that – who knew she was a closet domestic goddess who budgets and goes grocery shopping?  I must’ve missed all of that while begging her to make her bed / get off the iDevices / pick up her floordrobe, and all manner of other domestic duties that clearly aren’t part of her grocery shopping focussed repertoire.

The Twin Tornado are still all tornado-ish, ranging between an F4 and F5 on most days.  I blame global warming.

Miss10 wants to be a Dentist, so I’m delighted someone will support our entire family.  She really just wants to have at her siblings’ mouths with sharp instruments – but SEMANTICS – I have a future Doctor in the house!

Mstr10 wants to be a Lego pro.  I’ve told him he can totally go for that, if he agrees to first master the art of tying his shoelaces without losing his shit.  He wasn’t keen to shake on it, but when I explained that nobody would take his Lego pro status seriously otherwise, he agreed.  Phew and fingers crossed.  What could possibly go wrong.

Anyway, best thing is – they are all feeding and bathing themselves, putting their own laundry away, and reading to themselves.  I feel like my job here is all but done (especially with the reading thing).  They’re also usually putting themselves to bed, because I am now OLD and I fall asleep before them a lot of the time.

Trolls – you hear that?  I DON’T EVEN BOTHER PATTING THEIR BACKS TO SLEEP ANYMORE…

Also trolls, to really excite you…I had to count back – using all my finger digits – to make sure I’d correctly stated the Twin Tornado’s age.  Are they 10?  Are they 11?  Who knows!

Anyway, clearly nailing the parenting still.

And also the wifing – #1Hubby is still going strong.  I still remind him just how lucky he is, on the regular.  I feel like it’s obvious and is one of those things that doesn’t need to be said, but far be it from me to miss the chance to remind him all the same.

Now that I’m almost done with the nurturing of offspring, I thought it was time for me to do something for me.



So I did a detox slash gut health program – Before you choke on your wine, I was far from being all my body is a temple….

I was more…wait, it’s only a month and I don’t have to exercise?  And I’m going to lose 10% – 15% of my body weight in that time?

SIGN. ME. UP.

For reals, because I am so lazy/allergic to exercise, I had to get someone to do the grunt work of clicking buttons to sign me up.

Low and behold – not all of these things are a hoax.  Sometimes, it really is as simple as it sounds.  

Pretty sure I’m being watched by all the Kardashian’s, because clearly I’m a threat now.

Anyway, it was so awesome for my insides and my outsides, and so quick and easy, that I signed up myself on the other side of the program.

People…I am now a bona fide business person.  For reals.  And – wait for it – part of that is being a MENTOR.

I KNOW – WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO BE MENTORED BY ME!??!?

Pearls of wisdom, daily.  I’m like the gift that keeps on giving – while improving gut health and losing weight in the space of a month.

It’s clearly a no brainer, and I will personally thank you all when I’m on the cover of Forbes and O Magazine for taking all the money off bazillionaire app developers and Rappers.

Listen, a girl has to work.  Nobody was throwing dollars at me to write my words of wisdom, as enjoyed by tens of internet goers over the years.  So here it is, something else I’ve enjoyed, that’s worked for me.

It’s a little bit of shameless self-promotion, I know, – but if any of you have heard of the Healthy Living / Ph@tt program – you’ll know why I’m bragging!

And I’m saving for Dental school, remember.

Clickety-click if you want to know more.  Or if you just want to say hi.  Clearly I’m trying to fund a fancy new wardrobe, on account of my new slim-lined self.  #1Hubby is terrified I’m  mass purchasing bikinis via Facebook.  I told him I would only do such a thing if he agreed to a matching Mankini, since he’s also cutting a sharper figure thanks to having no choice but to support me and get with the month-long program.

So it’s been a crazy 18-months up in here.

I’ve kept them all alive and – dare I say – thriving.

I’ve improved myself.

But I’m still the same foul mouthed sarcastic delight that I’ve always been!

I’ve missed ranting and raving to you guys.

Stay tuned for more updates on Lego-gate (where I attempt to either Tiger-parent Mstr10 into Lego stardom, or covertly crush his dreams and distract him with a slightly more attainable career goal).